I mentioned in a couple blogs ago that I had a meltdown or two, I don’t remember the details but that seems so irrelevant looking back at this past week. I hate that this semester has just been me complaining but I guess it’s what I signed up for. On the bright side, it does give me something to blog about. No literally, while I was crying, I thought oh I’ll name my next blog-“my breaking point”. You’re welcome.
On Friday, it dawned on me that I have so much to do and I am slacking on some work. We had our Bi-weekly ambassador meeting and I did not have time on my schedule to sign up for events. Everyone knows how much I love working as an ambassador and not having a chance to do what I love the most hit differently. I bust out in tears to the realization and I could not stop crying. I say that’s why I was cry but was it really? That day was horrible all around cause I started crying in the morning, even before my so-called “realization”. That morning, I overslept, I KNOW, how irresponsible of me. Anyhoo, I overslept and I had to work at 8:30am. I woke up at 9:41am. I cringed so hard typing that and was even more disgusted when I woke up. I cried like a little child in the shower and on my way to work. it was humiliating. I believe that put me in a bad headspace and everything started making me cry LOL. Does that even make any sense?
On Saturday, I had to complete my holistic health assignment. It was a mindfulness assignment and of course, I had to tell the most ZEN person I know, my friend, Rama. She does this regularly and made me look beyond the fact that this practice was an assignment. We went to the park and practiced for 30minutes. It was enlightening and I am very glad to have had such a horrible Friday because I believe it helped amplify the effect. Does that make any sense? I felt -this may sound dramatic- free. I realized that I put my fears at the forefront of my mind and it became extremely overwhelming. Letting go of everything, even for just 30 minutes, was a relief.
I don’t know if any of this makes sense but I do know that everyone needs to take some time for self-care. 10 minutes, that’s all you need to take good care of yourself, could be more but that’s a starting point. it may sound silly and like it doesn’t work but trust me IT DOES!! There are so many different practices that cost less than medication, way less, so it only makes sense to try them. it honestly doesn’t hurt to try. ( I feel like I’m trying to convince you to buy my quack product LOL). I’m just trying to help you get rid of your stress. Thank me later.
Lucky for us, the amazing mentors have organized midterm madness on each campus. I worked at the one at the Essex campus on Tuesday and it was EPIC. They had good food-like higher than regular CCBC standard- good and fun-college students should not be playing before midterms kinda- games. They even had massage chairs and a photobooth. For me, it was 3 hours of unwinding and having fun. A time to forget about school and be present in the moment. You do not have to practice yoga or meditate if you don’t want to. Go to the event at your campus and have the best time. Let go of everything and of course when you’re savoring every last bit of food on your very full plate, I ask that you remember and thank me because what would you do without me… literally everything LOL.
I wasn’t gonna post this picture because I hate pictures and I think I look ridiculous in all of them but this picture captured raw emotions. We were genuinely smiling and I forgot about all my problems. like the fact that I have a college application due in a week or the fact that I have three papers for three different classes due on the 14th and many more. I forgot all that and laughed like I just graduated with my Ph.D. and never have to go to school again. Anyways, enough babbling here’s the photo:”