I will try to get through this without crying because I quite frankly have no tears left to cry. That said, it is my last blog post ever and I think I’m gonna puke. I have been through so many highs and lows these past few years but this remained constant and I can’t even begin to imagine my life without it, without CCBC. Ugh, I have tried not to think about this for so long because of the constant flow of bad news and this was by far the worst but also the best. I made it. I graduated with a cummulative 4.0 GPA. That was my goal and despite multiple people telling me how impossible it is, I accomplished it. I listened to a podcast today about failure and the speaker said when we fail, we tend to dwell in that bubble and forget our achievements. I lost so much that I almost forgot how smart and hardworking I actually am. Despite everything, I am grateful to be spending my very last days with you and damn this hurts too much not to cry.
I have to keep this short because I can’t stop crying haha. I’m certainly gonna miss all my friends. All of my fellow ambassadors, I hope we cross paths again because you all made these past few years a blessing. Meg and Rama, I hope you join me at Stevenson because I would be a mess without both of you. I think to fully understand this post, you have to imagine me typing with tears running down my face and my eyes bloodshot red. I think there’s a ghost cutting onions. Anyways, I think the person I would miss the absolute most is Mrs. Lesley. I am eternally thankful for all your help and support these past few years. Thank you for choosing me to be one of your ambassadors and I can only hope I did you proud holding that position. This cannot be goodbye, so expect emails from me and visits to CCBC when we are allowed.
Unfortunately, I have decided to opt-out of this year’s graduation ceremony and even though I will not be participating in next year’s I cannot wait to come to scream the loudest at Meg’s graduation. Right now, I feel like a little fishy getting thrown in an angry ocean. I don’t know what to do but I promise to keep my head high and continue swimming. It’s just two more years, I will be fine.
Moving on, no matter how exciting it is, definitely leaves a hole in your heart and this does. I wish I could keep attending CCBC, keep working at CCBC, I mean, I wish I could remain an ambassador for the rest of my life. but this is good. its growth and even though I feel like I never really got closure and I didn’t get to spend my last days with my friends, I am happy to know that this is not goodbye. I love you and can’t wait to see you again. Grace is out.