For as long as I can remember, I didn’t know how to draw. I have always felt that art is not for me. It felt like I didn’t have a good relationship with art. Yes I would hear people say ” painting is therapeutic” but I still felt that it’s not for me and I couldn’t do it.

How did I become this way with something beautiful and expressing like art? Well, let me take you back in time into my childhood. Twenty seven years ago I was in the seventh grade. My art teacher was a very harsh grader and back then I was so obsessed with my grades. I had to get straight As every quarter to keep my GPA up. That year, my art teacher gave me a C. That was shocking to me because in my mind that meant my GPA will not be  high enough. I started to hate art and to me art was the reason my GPA was in danger. Why do we even need to learn art? Why is it a required class every year? I hope They get rid of it. That was me when I was in seventh grade.

Ever since then I lost confidence in my artistic abilities, I never held a pain brush or even attempted to think to try and paint – until last week. I signed up for a virtual activity provided by CCBC  Project Start, which I’m a member of. I got my painting kit in the mail. I opened the box and there was a canvas, an easel, acrylic colors, and a set of paint brushes. I was excited to give it a try, but in my mind I was still not confident about my art skills.

When it was time for the virtual event to start, I lined up my art tools on my desk and I took a picture before I started. This picture will come in handy later. The artist started by giving us directions on how to set up the easel and how to attach it to the canvas. I was the first one to get it right. I thought to myself, so far so good. Then she started to teach us about the different paint brushes and which one we will be using. It’s time to mix the colors and dip the brush. I started by holding it so tight then dipping it in water. Then it was time to dip it in paint and start painting on the canvas. I was looking so attentively at the artist and following her directions to the dot.

Before I knew it, there was my painting. It came to life before my eyes. I couldn’t believe my eyes – it was like a moment of truth. I know how to paint…I have artistic skills…no need to doubt my skills anymore. When I showed the finished product to my family, they didn’t believe that I painted it. I don’t blame them because I didn’t believe it either. The picture I took before I started was my proof to them.

They were right, painting is therapeutic. It was very relaxing once I started to ease the tension off of the brush. I never thought that I would enjoy painting so much. I wasted so many years of my life not enjoying painting or use it to relax. Art is beautiful and finally I get to feel and see its beauty.  I think I have a better relationship with art and painting. I made a new friend who will be there for me when I want to relax. Paint brush, you are my new friend.

Until next time my friend,

Rama