The word perfectionist has been coming up a lot in my life recently. As the semester has started, I can feel myself falling victim of trying to attempt to be something that no one will ever be, perfect. Even just saying the word perfect makes my stomach hurl. It’s so easily said but the act of being perfect is not real. So why do we even try to be “perfectionist”?
It never really came to my understanding that I was a perfectionist until last semester when I had a conversation with Rama at work. She told me how she had suffered through the unrealistic ideology of being perfect. And that made me think, oh gees… I have a problem.
The worst part is knowing I’m a victim of trying so hard, but for what? The stress is not worth it, yet I find myself beating myself up over the tiniest things. It’s like you know the repercussions of these attempts of being perfect, but yet, your subconscious is like yeaaaaah keep pushing yourself.
“You aren’t doing enough.” “Check that again.” “Are you sure you’re doing that correctly?” “You know how to do this, why are you acting clueless?” “Stop slacking and get back to work.” “I shouldn’t spend time with my friends or family, I have too much to do.” These are just an array of thoughts that a perfectionist may be battling within. No one will willingly share, hey I’m stressed because my brain is being mean to me, its telling me to achieve at the highest standard possible and not have any fun leisure time. They just keep it quiet and keep things pushing. But holding in this perfectionist mind set will drive you crazy if you let it. But truthfully ask yourself, am I a victim of perfectionism? 
Needless to say what may be perfect to some, may be different to others. So the word is just so overrated and over used. Sometimes having some characteristics of being a perfectionist may work on your favor to help you succeed. Sometimes we need that drive to push us to getting that grade we wanted, or maybe keeping your room or home tidy. But you have to draw the line somewhere. Personally, I know I am doing too much when one of my shoulder blades are just aching. Or when I’m staying up late tossing and turning about how I could be doing more productive things than just thinking in bed. But this isn’t a life anyone should carry on. Unrealistic goals of perfectionism will drive you insane. It will not be the end of the world if you don’t get an 100% or an A on assignment. You will not turn into a hoarder if you don’t clean up after yourself one tiresome evening.
Knowing what matters and that you have tried your hardest should be where you draw the line between perfectionism and reality. Giving yourself breaks and treating yourself to doing absolutely nothing is what your body craves once in a while. If you find yourself being stressed by being perfect, just stop it. 
You need to value your body. You must treat your brain like a holy temple that does not deserve to be cluttered with stress 24/7. At the end of the road, the people or things you are attempting to be perfect towards may not even give you the foolish recognition your brain thinks it deserves.
I want you guys to know that I’m writing this blog at the end of week 2 of the semester. By the time this goes live we will be in week 3. In week 3 I hope to have a betterment of my time management skills and how to be more realistic. I will keep you guys posted as the semester goes on my journey of cutting off ties with being a perfectionist. If I can leave you guys with some food for your thought is that if you tried your hardest be proud of yourself. Celebrate the small things like submitting assignments before the due date, or washing the dishes before 10 at night, whatever it may be for you. Be kind to yourself.
Like Hannah Montana said, “Nobody’s perfect, you live and you learn it.” This should be the wise words we must come to realization with.
