Finding “Your People” in the Middle of a Pandemic

Nope! You’re not alone in this search for “your people”. Making friends in the middle of the pandemic is HARD, and trust me, I feel it too. I’m sure a lot of people feel it. Whether you’re an ambivert, an extrovert, or an introvert, it’s just generally harder because, first of all, you can’t really see other people’s reactions, second, it’s hard to tell people’s intentions, and finally, with the mask on, for me at least, it can feel awkward to tell stories especially when you can’t really express with your whole face what you are trying to say. Other than that, there’s social distancing and some people are fully online. Sadly, as much as we want the pandemic to be over, it can’t just go away in a poof! Plus, social distancing and masks are totally valid in this situation so we can’t just take them off and walk freely in closed areas.

You may be thinking right now, “So what exactly is the point of this whole post, Allana?”. To answer your question— in this post, I will be sharing why you might still be struggling to find “your people” in college in the middle of a pandemic, and why there’s no need to feel pressured because of this. If you’ve found good friends who you’re comfortable with, great! I’m happy for you. Take COVID19 protocols seriously, and you’ll all be fine, however, if you haven’t yet, it’s okay. Some people take longer to make friends, not because they’re picky or awkward, but because they take a longer time to feel comfortable with others (and again, that’s okay!). If you think you’re one of these people, this post is for you.

Disclaimer: This isn’t exactly a “how to make friends” post, it’s more like a “you haven’t found your people yet, and that’s okay!” post.

1. So, maybe your person hasn’t met you yet. Maybe, you haven’t met the people who are going to make you feel the most comfortable. You might feel out of place sometimes like you’re not on the same wavelength as others, but those things happen to everyone. Maybe, just like you, your person is feeling the same way; they may just be in a different building or class or a few seats away from you. Just like you, they may be also wishing someone would randomly come up to them and talk to them about the most random things: books, Kdramas, candles, and crystals, the meaning of life, movies, or just randomly take them on a road trip. Maybe you’re waiting for someone to do that to you, and they’re doing the same thing.
2. We’re in the middle of a pandemic. Great, blame it on the pandemic— I mean I won’t, but the pandemic certainly does play a role in why it’s harder to connect. As I’ve said earlier, it’s harder to go to social gatherings, tell stories, and just simply mingle with new people. With the pandemic, I feel like a lot of people have become more comfortable alone, and honestly, that’s a great thing, but sometimes, we can’t help but miss all the social interaction.
3. You may be struggling because you’re all online! Again, the pandemic plays a role in this. Being online does lessen face-to-face interaction for obvious reasons, however, CCBC has a great way of making their virtual students a very strong part of the community. With accessible virtual events, you can actually get to meet new people. The thing is, some people may find it harder to make online friends, and again, that’s okay.
4. You might still be focusing on yourself. I love that the era we are in right now uplifts self-care to a great extent. I’m not saying that people who focus on themselves and their goals don’t know how to make friends and vice versa! Of course, they do! I’m just saying that some people are busy healing whatever they need to be healing, finding themselves, and want to give 100% attention to their goals, and all of these things are totally valid! If you feel like you haven’t found your people because you’re busy working for your goals, don’t fret. There’s no “friend deadline” to catch, and, as cliche as this sounds, the people who are meant to be in your life will be in it at the time they should be.
5. Finally, you’re a new student still adjusting to the CCBC atmosphere. First-year here at CCBC? Well, don’t worry! Like everyone else, you will find your people one day, and maybe they’ll just surprise you!

I’ve heard from some people I know that making friends in college is harder nowadays, and I actually agree. We’ve been told in high school that college was going to be IT. It was going to be a blast because you were going to meet new people, have fun, and do the things you’ve always wanted to. It’s been harder now with the pandemic though, and that’s okay. In fact, there’s no need to feel pressured because of it. You’re doing fine, you’re doing great, and you’re not alone in this.

Song recommendation for the week: treehouse – Alex G and listen to Taylor Swift’s All Too Well!

Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone! 🙂