Sup B-)
I’m a fairly unemotional girl. Since I am, a lot of times I feel the need to exude more ‘warmth’ or ’emotion’ than what I would otherwise, because that’s kind of what’s expected of me as a girl, and I’m nothing if not a people pleaser. [Cue years of me cringily laying at peoples feet for attention R.I.P]. I also have personal expectations of myself to appear bubbly when I’m out and about because I wear hijab, and that deters most people enough without me also being a ‘robot’.
But caN I JUST SAY EMOTIONS ARE EXHAUSTING. MY GOODNESS. I DON’T KNOW HOW MY FRIENDS DO IT BECAUSE I CAN BARELY KEEP UP WITH THE HAPPY STUFF let alone the angry and sad! I wrote this post to express some of what I experience being an unemotional gal. Maybe you can relate!
-
People occasionally confuse being “outwardly chill” with “having no feelings” or “having no insecurities.” So they sometimes feel like they can say something offensive to you without any consequences.
-
You’ve been accused on more than one occasion of being heartless because your first instinct when something serious or life changing happens isn’t an extreme emotional response. Tears are a rare thing for you, and you often internalize things indefinitely.
-
You seriously suck at comforting people and it makes you silently hate yourself. You often wish you knew what to say to make the people you care about feel better but you usually feel you’ve fallen short.
-
When you are upset, sad, or hurt, you instinctually distance yourself from others. You understand that many people find comfort from being around other people, but you have an incredibly hard time opening yourself up. When you share your worries you just feel worse instead of relieved. This often causes rifts in your friendships.
-
Making deep, lasting connections with people is very hard for you. People typically bond (in my experiences, women especially) through opening up to one another emotionally. You keep pieces of yourself private and this can often get in the way, leaving you never feeling truly connected.
-
Because you have a hard time expressing yourself verbally to others, you probably find other outlets. Such as writing (wink wonk), painting, other forms of creative arts, or physical activities that allow you to expel whatever internal energies you’re struggling with.
-
Alright, so occasionally you can relate when some guys say that women are ‘crazy’ because yeah, there are moments when your friends’ erratic emotions do seem crazy. But then, when you’re expressing an opinion and some dude tells you that ‘all women are crazy’ you realize how messed up that whole idea is and that honestly, your lack of emotional connection is probably the bigger issue anyway.
-
Secretly, deep down, you’re the worst romantic. You might not cry during heartfelt movies, but they always get you right in the feels and you secretly love the stupid, completely unrealistic way chick flicks portray love.
-
Eventually, as you grow and learn and experience, you appreciate that everyone actually is just a little bit different, and it has nothing to do with gender.
-
Your friends act like they’re putting a burden on you if they need to talk to you about an emotional problem or they need advice about something. You hate when they begin a conversation with “Sorry to bother you about this, I know you hate emotions, but…” because it makes you feel like you were their last resort. And that you’re a robot.