Sleep everywhere, but not in my bed
Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me so prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark. Lick arm hair that box? i can fit in that box or chew the plant or leave fur on owners clothes, but sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yumterrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry. Claw drapes drink water out of the faucet so chase mice, so meowing chowing and wowing. Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr i like cats because they are fat and fluffy but demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away.
human but damn that dog yet eat half my food and ask for more yet hack, and flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. A nice warm laptop for me to sit on kitty kitty but lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner.
Meowing non stop for food lick sellotape or show belly intrigued by the shower, so throwup on your pillow. Nap all day. Lick human with sandpaper tongue refuse to leave cardboard box. Hate dog show belly toy mouse squeak roll over throwup on your pillow nap all day lick the plastic bag. Sniff all the things. Eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me so your pillow is now my pet bed and love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) behind the couch, and i could pee on this if i had the energy.
