Hi everyone! If you noticed, I didn’t post at all earlier in March! Due to some technical difficulties, I couldn’t log into my blog. Luckily everything is fixed, so I’m back. How are your midterms going?
As you probably know, I am a Taekwon-Do practitioner.
I don’t usually ask for such things, and this isn’t CCBC or college-related exactly, but I’m fundraising for my trip to Italy for the 2015 ITF Taekwon-Do World Championships. I will be competing in sparring (fighting) and patterns competitions to represent Team USA, and if I win I will be the first person from Maryland ever to do so!
Visit makeachamp.com/patricia to donate– every dollar counts.
I know we’re all broke college students (or professors!) but if you’d consider donating just a few dollars it would really mean a lot to me and will help me to achieve my dreams while having the experience of a lifetime!
If you can’t donate, please consider sharing this on your Facebook pages.
If you donated $5, it would be the same as buying a frozen hot chocolate and a bagel
I have a Bing Bar on my computer, and I went to search something and this came up:
I found this to be a shocking/amusing answer, so I decided to have my own “start a search and see what the results continue as” game. I quickly cleared all by browsing history, and began searching.
At first it was kind of funny, and rather interesting:
Then, I had an idea. I began to wonder what most people searched about more people, and about more serious topics.
Okay, this is kind of funny…
At least the internet doesn’t hate children.
Well, we expect celebrities to get hate…
At least Taylor Swift cares not about what people think of her.
Okay, could be worse…
Alright, this is getting kind of…
It didn’t have anything to say about asexual people, though.
Or bisexual people, or pansexual people, or many other sexualities. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
Then, it really started to get very intolerant. I understand that these results are partially due to how I phrased the question/statement in the search, but the fact that such result options are even around is the fault of no one but the many searchers on the internet.
You’d think perhaps it would be something like “white people are from what countries” or something. Nope.
Then I decided to search for religious-themed options. I expected some to be more judgmental than others, but the way that it turned out was worse than expected:
This is despicable, and almost makes me want to throw up.
At least we can agree that dentists are liars, but that is beside the point.
Bing Search is a search engine that reveals human intolerance and a lack of effort to understand others, that is what Bing search is.
Or perhaps just closed-minded.
And not willing to look for the right answers to the right questions.
If you think people are awesome and crazy, dear internet searchers, then why are you so judgmental?
Stop judging people, and instead be willing to understand them.
Let us be the generation that is willing to learn about people instead of being intolerant of others due to things like judgments about race and religion. We are in college to learn for ourselves, so why not also be willing to learn about others?
Know people before you label people.
Also, make the right searches! If you are searching “jews are disgusting” you are obviously already making a biased search and will therefore be presented with results that simply support this bias. Why not just search “jewish beliefs” or “judaism” instead? Better yet, why don’t you go to the library and read a book by a reliable source, and THEN make your decision?
It makes me sad to see that this is what people decide to search on Bing when asking questions. There are so many better questions to ask about people than the ones that show up as top results.
At CCBC, something I really enjoy is seeing all the friendships and relationships that exist between people of different ages, genders, sexualities, races, religions, and beliefs. In fact, it isn’t even something that I consciously think about very much– because such friendships are often the norm. Sure, the environment at CCBC is not perfectly tolerant, but nowhere is. Perhaps this is indicative of a good step forward in the world.
I don’t believe the world will ever be perfectly tolerant– that would be impossible.
However, let’s all just make an effort to understand others and perhaps the future will be a brighter place.
…and a place where internet searches are full of more curiosity than full of judgement.
I think everyone does this; it’s refreshing to have a few extra hours of sleep on such days. My condolences to all of the sleep that was lost for those who accidentally woke up early and could not get back to sleep.
Keep Wearing Their Pajamas/Sweatpants
Now, personally I would NEVER do this. Wearing pajamas or sweatpants when you aren’t 1) sleeping or 2) very, very sick feels incredibly gross to me. That being said, I know lots of other people enjoy this for some inexpiable reason, so, good for them.
Do Silly Things In The Snow
And probably not wearing proper snow-gear, either. Tsk, tsk. Then they quickly get cold and promptly return to the warmth of their homes.
Want Hot Chocolate… But Have None
Nobody ever actually has ingredients for hot chocolate when it snows, do they? Well, I sure don’t. Boooooo.
Facebook. Tumblr. Pinterest. Maybe some student blogging, if you’re me? Have fun reading about other people who are stuck inside because of the snow, and chatting with other web users who are doing the exact same thing as you.
I don’t actually watch much TV myself and sadly I don’t have Netflix (if I did, I could re-watch Sherlock again! Yay!) but I know a lot of people use snow days to catch up on the shows that they’ve gotten behind on. Or start new shows– you should all go and watch Sherlock…
Because some of us had quizzes that were today, and they were postponed! More time to study for them! Maybe some people are also getting other things done that needed to get done… like editing movies…
I feel like I’m in The Shining if I stay inside too long during snow days. The glamour of not having to do anything wears off fairly quickly, in my opinion.
Go Do Things
This is probably, prooooobably a bad idea. However, staying inside gets tedious, so looks like it’s time to go on an adventure after a day of nothing.
What do YOU do on snow days? How accurate was I?
Chapter One: In which I wake up at 8:00 AM and check to see if CCBC is closed
Chapter Two: It is. I knew it.
Chapter Three: In which I do not go immediately back to sleep because I decide to check Facebook
Chapter Four: And I have to cancel Film Society meeting for the day
Chapter Five: In which I get extra sleep
Chapter Six: In which my brothers are outside shoveling snow, my sister is trying to build things out of powdery snow, and my baby sister is inside playing with a box that is full of snow… while wearing snowpants and no shoes
Chapter Seven: In which I plan to go on an adventure today anyway
Chapter Eight: In which the snowplow guy becomes frustrated
Chapter Nine: In which the snowplow guy is still frustrated because he simply cannot get this one bit of slush around the corner
Chapter Ten: He still can’t get it, after four tries…
Chapter Eleven: In which the snowplow guy finally does it!
Chapter Twelve: In which I decide to create a CCBC blog post
Epilogue: This entire story was a bit boring, but nice… just like snow days
- Good teachers
- The clubs
- The fact that the Catonsville campus goes in a circle
- Study rooms
- …not studying in study rooms
- Free food at events
- …that isn’t cake with shortening-flavored icing
- People who don’t wear Uggs
- …people who DO wear Uggs, cause we don’t judge
- All the awesome people who work in the Admissions office
- also everyone who works in Student Life
- Awesome people everywhere, really
- “Hidden” areas where you can print for free
- When Blackboard actually works
- …when it doesn’t, and your assignments get pushed to a later date
- Einstein Bros at Catonsville
- Frozen hot chocolate
- The lovely people who hate it when you order anything frozen
- The cafeteria being open later. I guess.
- …because cheap pudding
- Fliers that are well-designed
- …and ones that aren’t
- The feeling of being on campus really early in the morning and you’re being productive
- That milkshake machine on the Dundalk campus
- …the cafeteria at Dundalk in general; what’s with that?!
- The stupid pop music from last year that they play in the Barn during events
- Dr. Kurtinitis speaking
- The entertaining people that are at SGA meetings
- …and when they have pineapple at SGA meetings
- Running into people that you know who you want to talk to
- Avoiding people who you know who you don’t want to talk to
- PEP students
- People who’ve been at CCBC for like, an eternity
- …with gorgeous, ridiculously bright shirts
- The Awards Banquet
- The Honors’ Center
- …and how the Honors’ Center smells, because for some reason it smells good
- When it’s spring and the grass starts growing in ridiculously green
- Shortcuts around campus
- Chilling backstage in the ARTS building
- The ARTS exhibits they have on campus
- The locker rooms. With the giant air-drying machines.
- The gym. Especially when it’s completely empty
- That one super friendly, awesome woman who works in the cafeteria on the Catonsville campus whose name I have forgotten even though I have known her for years now
- Events with dress codes
- Events without dress codes for those of you who are into that thing; you style-less goofballs
- Outdoor events held on nice days
- When class gets out early
- When you can talk to your teacher after class
- When you don’t have to get textbooks for a class
- When you DO have to get textbooks, but they have them in the library
- When the bus isn’t late
- …or isn’t irritatingly early
- People who don’t mind walking everywhere around campus
- People who walk at the same pace as you
- Classrooms with windows
- How lovely it looks when it is snowing on campus
- …even when it’s freezing
- When it’s freezing, and you get to enter a warm building
- Fresh-feeling spring days that smell like grass
- Crisp fall days that smell like leaves
- The first and last days of semester
- Computer labs
- The CADD labs, with the professors from CADD
- Perfect grades
- People who actually have cars
- People who think like you do
- People who are early for things
- The staplers in the Student Life office
- Empty classrooms
- The windows in the library
- The campus shuttle
- Student blogs. Haha!
- Benches and ledges to step on
- Tables to lie on and sit on, like mature adults
- The ARTS stage
- The [moving?] staircases in HTEC
- Giving tours to people who are on time
- Couples who aren’t annoying
- The Mansion at Catonsville
- The bathrooms in the library
- That one bathroom in HTEC where there’s one sink with a real sink handle
- Gaps between classes– that are longer than five minutes
- That one super-cold water fountain in between SSRV and HTEC
- Inside jokes within clubs
- Reading books for fun in the library
- The power of the Student ID
- …and people’s adorably atrocious ID photos
- Vending machines that don’t steal people’s money
- …except for the one in the ARTS building. Don’t even bother with that one.
- Workshops for writing and such
- “Are you on campus?”
- “yes, where are you at?”
- When people let you borrow their pens when you lose yours
- Or not losing any pens in the first place
- The decent-sized desks that do, in fact, exist
- When the projectors actually work
- The clock tower sculpture thing at Catonsville
- The dragon sculpture thing that’s also at Catonsville
- The fountain that is ALSO at Catonsville
- …and the big windows overlooking the fountain in the Barn Lounge
- Fun memories that you don’t know will be fun memories until it’s too late
What are some things that YOU love about CCBC? Comment on this post and they will be added to the list!
That’s right; it’s that time of year. Time to enter the CCBC Film Festival! Last year’s Film Fest was a big hit, and we hope to make this year’s even more successful!
Check out the FILM FEST TRAILER
I am not perfect. I am not an expert on all of humanity. I have no credentials, really, to tell you what you should know or what you should or shouldn’t do. However, in life (and especially during my time at CCBC) I have determined that there are certain things that I feel that everyone should know for their own benefit and for the benefit of their fellow humans, and I have decided to share some of these things with you. I hope that you get something out of this, and consider applying some of these Things You Should Know to your lives.
Not Everyone Views “Opening Up” the Same Way
My friend and I have discussed this on numerous occasions, and have arrived at the realization that not everyone sees “opening up” as the same thing. Some people seem to think that if someone tells them something about themselves, it means that they have “opened up” to them and therefore suddenly value them as a friend. Now, waaaaaaait a minute here.
You know the people– you meet them, they tell you about a sucky event from their childhood, you respond by saying that a similar thing happened to you– and all of the sudden they think that the two of you are close friends.
In most situations, however, both people involved do not view this the same way. To some people, for example, you “opening up” is telling them something that happened to you, saying your name, age, and major. Then they become massively hurt when they realize that the “friendship” did not matter as much to you as it did to them.
My friend and I decided that if everyone viewed “opening up” the same way, the world would be a whole lot easier. We define opening up as the following:
1. Sharing not only things about yourself, but the REASON behind these things. If they tell you that they have a fear of ketchup, they’re just sharing a fact. If they go into the story BEHIND their fear of ketchup, chances are they are opening up to you.
2. Discussing opinions and reasons for things in general. If they care enough that you know these things about them, they are probably opening up.
The above two definitions do depend, however. Here are other points to remember as well.
1. Observe what they talk to other people about. If they are the kind who USUALLY tell people everything about themselves, them doing the same with you is nothing special. “Opening up” would therefore have to involve much more important things than usual. If, however, they are the type who never even tell people the most insignificant things about themselves, then them sharing something about themselves is more meaningful even if it might not be something as major as the open-book variety of humans.
2. See how THEY view it. If they think of it as a big deal, even if it doesn’t quite seem to be, then they are really opening up. If, however, they seem to just be telling you random things to prove a point, or one-up you, or are being defensive about something– this is certainly not opening up.
If You Point Out Something About Their Face/Body, You Are A Jerk
“What’s that on your face?” “Why do you have dots on your face?” “You have a scar on your face” “You have marks on your arms” “Your fingers are weird”
OH FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE. Do you THINK that these individuals do not spend a significant part of their lives looking at themselves in the mirror? THEY KNOW about the thing on their face. THEY KNOW. Believe it or not, they totally noticed that about themselves. They know things about their own appearance infinitely better than you ever could. Don’t be a jerk; leave their appearance alone. Some people are really bothered by those blemishes that you rudely pointed out, and chances are they are in fact making an effort to get rid of them. Pointing it out is a d*ck move, man. It helps no one. I really don’t understand why someone would ever rudely point out something about someone that they obviously already know for no reason.
Leave Their Major Alone
Why would you give someone a hard time about their choice of major? Them having said major does not hurt anyone; it is their choice and it is significant that they are in college putting effort towards this choice of major in the first place. When people ask me my major, I prepare for a well-rehearsed winning defense because many people are so overly critical about such things. To some, this can be very annoying. To others, it can really hurt their confidence.
It is THEIR life. Let them do with it what they want. All the power to them for studying whatever it is that they are interested in.
Learn to Give An Answer, and Mean It
There are some people who say yes too much, and some people who say no too much. Then there are some people who say that they will think about it, but really they mean no. And then we’ve got everyone’s favorite, the people who just don’t answer at all. And then everyone’s REAL favorite, the ones who lie and say they will when they won’t, or vice-versa.
Learn to give an answer, and mean it. If you don’t want to do something, then don’t do it– but DO NOT allow the asker to think that you intend to do it. I don’t care how you go about it, but give an answer and stick to it. People will think that you are lazy, cowardly, rude, or other unfortunately applicable descriptive words in reaction, and you will lose your credibility.
Don’t Be Afraid to Talk To People
“But he’s too good to be friends with me” “Why would she ever wanna talk to me?” “she’s so out of my league” “But I’ll just annoy him”
No. This is college; this is not a Teen Nick show. In college, anyone can be friends with anyone. Just look around campus and you will see.
Don’t be afraid to talk to people– just go and talk to them, and do this as soon as possible. Why? Because this is Community College, and soon enough they are going to leave and you’ll be sad that you missed out on a chance to connect with them on some level. It does not matter how cool or intimidating you or your friends think that this person is; make an effort to talk to them if only to not regret your silence later. At best, you become friends with them or start a relationship with them. At worst, they get annoyed with you and you are no worse off than you were before when you never talked to them at all. In fact, chances are you are better off– now you do not have to live life wondering what might’ve happened if you’d decided to simply talk to them.
Go ahead and say hi to them after class. Send them a Facebook message or a text WITHOUT finding a set reason to talk to them, and just see what happens if only to just see what happens.
Remember To Say Hello And Good-Bye
You know what hurts? When someone takes off without saying good-bye. It makes one feel insignificant, used, and downright hurt. People do not like to feel insignificant, used, and downright hurt. If you make them feel like this, you are being thoughtless or oblivious, and that is unfortunate. Make an effort to say good-bye to people, whether you were hanging out with them or just swinging by to pick up a book that you lent them. Even if you are in a hurry, a quick wave and a smile will suffice– make an effort to be polite. On the other side, say hi to people. It will show that you are friendly and approachable, and it will make the other people feel recognized.
Say The Thing
If you were a book character or movie character, and you were watching yourself as this character, would you want you to say the thing?
Yes. You would. You’d probably get irritated or disappointed with the writers if the thing wasn’t said.
Well guess what? You choose your lines in your life story. Take advantage of the fact that you have the ability to say the thing.
People fear telling people things because they fret over potential reactions. Then they regret not saying what they wanted to say in the long run.
Just say the thing.
Now, I’m not talking in-the-moment, rush of emotion, not thought out random outbursts that you will regret later. I am referring to the thing that you have been wanting to say for quite a while, but never had the courage or will to.
You want to tell your friend that they are awesome? Say it. You want to tell that person that you have feelings for them? Say it. Do you appreciate that they helped you with something? Say so. Do they do something that bothers you? Say that, too.
Now, I suggest not being rude or inappropriate about it. CERTAINLY make an effort not to be creepy. But know that it will feel better once you say the thing. And guess what? It’s probably better for them that you said it, as well. Do not allow unsaid words to weigh down your very being; the ghosts of missed chances and the sinking feelings of “what ifs” to haunt your memory.
Don’t Act Like You Are Better Than Everyone
Unless you are Sherlock Holmes, acting like you are better than everyone automatically makes you despicable in most people’s eyes. I’m not saying that you should not be confident; I am saying don’t be unbearably arrogant in a rude manner. I’m also not saying that you can’t be fake-arrogant– It’s okay to jokingly answer “because I’m awesome” to questions about yourself and so-on. It is not okay to do so in a condescending manner, however.
Oftentimes, arrogant people have nothing to be arrogant about. They act like they are better than everyone, but have nothing really admirable about them. This likely stems from inner feelings of lack of worth, or an exaggerated ego, or both. If this may be you, make an effort to be humble. Hone some skills, and show them off by example when it is necessary to do so; not by being arrogant about them. Nobody likes someone who thinks that they are better than everyone, but obviously is not. A little humility goes a long way– and hey, if you act like a decent human being, chances are you will become what you really yearned to be.
If you actually ARE better than everyone (or think that you are, in your head) this is perfectly fine. You are probably awesome as heck. However, don’t behave like you are better than everyone, because people will become annoyed with your sense of entitlement and self-importance, even if it is warranted. Make an effort to be the type of person that others enjoy being around, because they feel just as amazing as you are when they are around you. If you are unbearably arrogant, you will lose credibility even if it you deserve it for other reasons. Let people decide that you are awesome on their own terms; don’t shove it in their faces.
No one enjoys spending time with someone that they feel rotten around; no one has fun with people who do nothing but infuriate them.
Remember That Your Problems Are Your Problems
Some people make everything about themselves, and then they turn around and make their problems YOUR problems. You may be guilty of this, and not even know it. Many people who behave like this are lonely and want attention, and so they try to make their problems become your problems to “test if you care” about them. These people are not looking for advice, and if you attempt to give them some they will likely become defensive and resistant to accepting it. All they want is you to give them a pity-party, because it makes them feel good to be “cared about.” Really, it can be draining for the people that they know, and does nothing to help either of you. Worse, if you decide to humor these people just a few times, they will decide that you can be their go-to for feelings of temporary happiness and can then guilt you into acknowledging them over and over. They may try to make you feel like you are not a good friend if you don’t baby them, or make you feel like if you do not listen to them, they will do something drastic.
Please, try not to be this person. It is not healthy for either party to be involved in this. If you behave like this, you will find difficulty creating friendships and you may trap the other person in a situation they do not want to be involved in. If you really want attention, just try to be a friend. Friendships should not be all about one person taking, taking, taking and never offering anything in return. If you have a problem, OWN the problem and address it thus. If you need help, try asking for genuine advice instead of looking for sympathy. If you are feeling bad about yourself, consider going to a counselor instead of looking to other people for temporary happiness. Simply remember that your problems are your problems, and therefore it is your responsibility to handle them or seek help handling them– don’t drop them on other people.
Love At First Sight Does Not Exist
…nononononono don’t x-out this tab now. Hear me out. Also, please note that this is my personal opinion, and you are obviously free to accept it or dis it accordingly.
Love is not what most people think that it is. People confuse love with feelings of attraction– and these are not the same things.
When one experiences “love at first sight,” what they are really experiencing is attraction at first sight. Sure, it may seem adorable when your friend says that they’ve loved that guy/girl they like since “the moment they laid eyes on them,” but this completely and utterly impossible.
Because love takes time to develop. Love is not something that can happen at first sight, because in order to love a person, you have to know a person enough to be able to accept them. You must be able to see a person clearly, with all of their strengths and all of their weaknesses, all of their flaws and all of their greatness– view a whole person who is a person just like you are– and see how they are and like them anyway. Love is when you would care about a person even if you did not find them physically attractive; when you would be content simply spending time with them even if they did not want to start a relationship with you. When you care about THEM and not only about a craving for what you feel when you are around them. You love them as a person, and you are not using them to fill empty parts of you. You feel that your life is better with them in it, but they are not your entire life.
You cannot love someone at first sight, because it takes more than one look to know what you really think and feel about someone. Love at first sight? More like lust.
When you think that you are experiencing “love at first sight,” you are actually experiencing attraction at first sight. Just because you are attracted to someone does not mean that you love them. Now, sometimes, one can experience attraction at first sight and go on to create a successful relationship with them anyway– and that’s okay. It’s certainly possible to fall in love with someone that you were initially only attracted to (although do remember that it all started because, being a human with inclinations for attraction to good genes due to the fact that humans are supposed to reproduce, you became attracted to nothing more than the fact that they by chance ended up born to be a good-looking person). More commonly, though, one will catch a bad case of infatuation.
Infatuation is not love. It is commonly mistaken for love, but it isn’t. Infatuation is commonly based on attraction to the other person’s appearance, but can also arise due to attraction to the person as an individual. Unlike with love, however, infatuation can be harmful and tends to end badly. When one is infatuated, they WANT a person because they like how the person makes them feel inside. They use the person to fill the holes in their being that they should be working on themselves. They crave the person, and put them on a pedestal because they are unable to really view them as a person. They see the person how they want to see them, and see the situation how they want to see it. They can’t love the person, because they are not seeing the person for how they really are. Infatuation is not about the “object of your desire”– it is all about you. When someone starts a relationship based on infatuation, the initial good-feeling obsession will eventually fade and the person will be left with someone who they never loved– they loved the idea of. They might realize that they only got with this person because of feelings of lust, and/or feelings of “wow, this attractive person wants to be with ME? Yay!” and then be able to see the person for who they really are. When you “fall” for an idea of someone, you may be in for a surprise when you discover that they are not how you dreamed that they were.
People who are infatuated tend to convince themselves that it is love. They convince themselves that if they work at it, a relationship with the person that they are obsessed with can work out. That they can “fix” the person and that the person is still the one that they “love,” intentionally overlooking what could be problematic, or that if they bend over backwards for the person, everything will work out. They become desperate, desperate to do anything to HAVE that person. This isn’t love. One must remember that if they make a person the center of their life, they have to be careful not to lose any semblance of a life to put them at the center of.
Would you still “love” them if they didn’t look the way that they do? Would you want to have a family with them? Grow old with them? Would you still care about them if you didn’t have feelings for them? If they didn’t want to be with you, would you still want to be friends with them? Or would you get angry because you want THEM and not their companionship? Do you like them, or do you want to mold them to be a person who you like?
It isn’t wrong to be attracted to someone. However, if attraction becomes a life-ruining obsession, there is something amiss. Look for a meaningful relationship with a person that you actually see as an individual, accept for how they are, and love them anyway. You cannot recognize love without learning to accept a person– therefore, love at first sight does not exist. And you know what? I think that’s beautiful.
HOW, may I ask, did winter break go by so fast?! So many things happened to me this break. Fun things, sad things, random adventures, and the learning of life skills. No, I shall not elaborate. Ask me in person about my winter break.
How was YOUR winter break?! Are you ready for Spring Semester?! I hope so!