Stuff CCBC Students Say: Spring 2015

You may have already died of laughter reading last semester’s and last year’s awesome compilation of the stuff I happen to hear around CCBC.

Well, here we go for round three-  a list of the wild, wacky, and perhaps relatable things that I have heard CCBC students say this spring semester. Special thanks to Ian, Colleen, and Spencer who each had several things that they’ve heard that were added in as well!

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“My daughter; her boyfriend says he almost don’t wanna marry her cause she’s gotten too big and he wants her to lose weight, but she don’t want to lose weight cause she likes to eat. I’m like don’t talk about my daughter like that. She’s as biiig as a house cause she likes to eat. She’s like thiiiiiis big, big as a house, cause she’s fat. Don’t say that about my daughter though, and she looks like she’s pregnant but she’s not cause she’s got that needle in her arm and already have 5 kids; she just looks likes that cause she’s fat. But he’s gonna love her anyway. I just tell her be careful not to get that heart disease. That’s my only daughter, only one I got, so if y’all hurt her I’m gonna kill every single one of ya.”

“I’m a prophet. An African prophet.”

“A dictatorship, where they just line you up against a wall and kill you. I’m not talking about a war, I’m talking about a dictatorship, where they just march into your country and be like if you’re not gonna join this fight, we’re gonna kill you.”

“What is a food wrapper?”

  • Guy 1: “I wish I could relate to what you’re feeling, but I don’t understand at all.”
  • Guy 2: “Yeah I don’t know. I wish I was gay, I tried being gay once, but it just didn’t work out at all. I’m just… not gay.”

“What year is it?”

“Why did I get into mortuary science? Job security.”

“You know how in Elf, Will Ferrell was not an elf but he was raised by elves to think he was an elf? [Person] is like that, except he was raised by Oompa Loompas to think he was an Oompa Loompa, but he is not.”

“The best upgrade for Windows Vista was Windows 7. Cause it replaced it.”

“You have the stomach of a hamburger.”

“Are they really contributing to society if they need to be told not to pet carnivorous animals?? I don’t advocate killing anyone, I just advocate removing the warning labels.”

“Whose is this? Who wrote the word f*ck on it?!”

“Yo your a** running so hard, it be burning holes in the wall!”

“Sometimes one finds ones sh*t equal to.”

“Come and rescue me. This cold and sleet and my hands are white. Save me now.”

“It was like, rice pudding flavored. They didn’t put the beans in… I mean, come on.”

“Yeah unless it has hi fruck-tos corn syrup.”

“I can’t wear white or I will look like… is that whale from Moby Dick actually called Moby Dick?”

“Dammit! Sons of beaches!”

“Laws are just like, f**king anti-freedom rules, that’s what they are! I mean I’m not saying laws are bad; laws are great.”

“Panera has no flavor. Everything they have…………… no flavor.”

“My wife loves that air conditioner; I can’t even sit on the toilet cause it’s too cold!”

  • Person 1: “I don’t feel like ninjas!”
  • Person 2: “What’s wrong with you?”
  • Person 1: “I’m not fluffy enough.”

“In a way I want a car, in a way I don’t. Cause these cars today, I don’t like em. I need one of them 1959, so hard you don’t get in an accident.”

“There is a cup over there full entirely of sugar.”

  • Person 1: “I need to buy a drug”
  • Person 2: “a drug?”
  • Person 1: “A dress!”

“He’s like that annoying little brother… that you want to toss off a cliff… but then like, pick him up, and fix his hair.”

“I have seen a woman who legitimately looks JUST like a hippo.”

“He marinated his way up the top.”

“Really disappointed there was no tornado last night. Really disappointed; I was ready for it. Stayed up til 1:00am, waiting for the winds.”

“He talks a deranged toddler with geese for parents.”

“One, I’m a guy; two, I’m a person and I’m also somewhat ignorant.”

  • Person 1: “Wow it sure is cold outside.”
  • Person 2: “Well you know what they say– cold fronts, bring cold weather.”

“How the f**k this baby 2 and half months old, it was born in January?!”

“Oh look there’s [Person] out there… all alone… GOOD.”

“…Danlile, but it’s spelled d-a-e-sh*t-d-e-a…d-a-n-i-e-l-e and I’m like how you ‘spost to not spell my name right?!”

“Anyway, my girlfriend got cancer, and people go ‘aww,’ and life sucks, but she got better.”

  • Person 1: “Why can’t human bodies just be better made?”
  • Person 2: “Because then awful people would get to live.”

“Bring up all this oooold sh*t; you b*tches aint on my motherf**king level. You b*tches don’t even know the things in my life…. I might’ve f**ked your father for all you know.”

“It’s JUST the senior superlatives. Stop RIGGING the senior superlatives!”

“I got two mouths to feed. You must be talkin’ about putting a RING on it tho.”

  • Guy 1: “Are you lactating right now?”
  • Guy 2: “What… you’re asking a dude if he’s lactating?”
  • Guy 1: “Yeah cause I had all those cookies.”

“Have you decided to come tonight? Did you shave off your beard?”

  • Person 1: “What happened to all your hair, man?”
  • Person 2: “What happened to my hair? A GNOME stole it.”
  • Person 1: *leaves*

“I’m Catholic, and we believe in waiting until marriage, chastity and all that stuff. I mean, that didn’t happen for me, but yeah.”

“The lions thing, is fine, except we don’t have access TO a lion, which means we will promote lions and not deliver.”

*Sees massive 3-car accident* “Something happened.”

“What did the tomato say to the bread? Lettuce pray. What did the lettuce say when it was in the sandwich? Lettuce pray. What did Lorrie say to Lesley? Lettuce pray.”

“Everyone is my mother! Even my own mother is my actual mother!”

  • Person 1: “We only have water. Water is for peasants!”
  • Person 2: “Well welcome to being a peasant.”

“Who came up with geometry? I HATE it.”

“I’m not as high as I was yesterday!”

“They’re either engaged, to get married, or pregnant, on their second child.”

“If you’re normal, and you can’t pay attention, something’s wrong.”

  • Girlfriend: *crying* “I’m just so tired of people calling me a slut because I’m not! Like, middle school and high school was like forever ago. Why can’t anyone just accept me for who I am now?”
  • Boyfriend: “…Well, we haven’t even graduated yet.”
  • Girlfriend: “That’s not the f**king POINT, Jake. Gawwd.”
  • Boyfriend: “Well… I don’t think you’re a slut.”
  • Girlfriend: “Yes you DO, Jake, that’s why you started dating me in the first place, ’cause I was a slut!”

“That’s like being on the, that’s like, like, like that’s beyond the, like you’re, that’s like beyond-epic scale.”

Phone: “to leave a callback number, press 5″

Person: “F*CK you!”

 

In Which Spring Semester Ends

If you’re an video editor (which, statistically speaking, you are probably not) you will know that in your editing program, you can move this little needle up and down the timeline, speeding things up or slowing things down as you move forwards or backwards along your in-progress video to get to a different point. An artificial re-wind/fast-forward noise is heard as you move the needle to your desired location before you finally press play and let it move of its own accord.

That’s what this semester felt like for me.

And now, you see, it is over.

This semester went by so incredibly fast.

With only two classes, education-wise I do not quite feel like I worked as hard this semester as I usually do. I am disappointed in myself in this regard (I feel like my mistake lay in taking two “easy” classes that did not require much writing or large projects, which took away a sense of urgency and therefore a true sense of completion. Note to self, evidently it is easier to take more difficult classes).

However, I feel like this semester was one of the most difficult ones that I have had here at CCBC. Firstly, I had to plan the Film Festival, which was quite an adventure. Secondly, Film Society. Being president of Film Society this semester was, while not a whole different story, definitely a whole different chapter than it was last semester. Thirdly, humans. I feel like I participated in a crash-course in human interaction this semester, and some of it felt outrageous and unnecessary and some of it I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. Heck, the outrageous and unnecessary bits were just as beneficial as the amazing moments.

Last year, I wrote some semi-sappy post about summer approaching and being pleased with my first semester in Film Society (dear me, a whole year ago) and something about friendship.

I guess this year it is kind of the same thing, but from a different perspective.

Summer? As semester rushed by and summer approached, I was scared, of course. Genuinely freaked out. Summers are weird for me, and while other people look forward to summer I almost dread it. Last summer was like a roller coaster where the low-points were misery and the high points were a different sort of misery and the tracks up had some great, awesome moments and some lonely as heck moments.

I guess my error was expectation where there should have been none and anticipation for things that I wished for instead of things that I could have made/needed to MAKE happen.

This summer, I refuse to view it in a way that will put me back on the same roller coaster. This summer, I’m pleased to have a break and enjoy some freedom while getting on the ball about things like getting my driver’s license like, ten years after I should’ve gotten it, and getting in plenty of Taekwon-Do training with a new addition to my mindset that I picked up at World Championships (I lost, by the way, but the experience was amazing and I am WINNING NEXT TIME FOR SURE). I don’t believe that I’ve been so non-freaked out for a summer in quite a while.

I shall allow myself to walk and run and slide through summer and take what I can from what it gives.

College and college people and all of those adventures will be back in the fall, and if I cross paths with anyone during the summer then yay, and if not, no big deal. When you’re a kid, you take seasons as they come and they feel great. Maybe this summer I’ll get to experience that lovely, amazing, hope-filled waking-up-on-a-summer-morning feeling that got lost somewhere in the single digits. What happens is, I hate change and become too attached to set purposes in life. The thing is, long-term purposes in life are what one can be attached to, not small things that are only part of the bigger ones.

I actually take pride on being an “impatient” person, because let’s face it– when it comes down to it, impatient people get things done.

However, I also take pride in the fact that I’ve developed a (look how brag-y I seem now, geez) remarkable long-term patience that is now getting to the point where I can be comfortable with allowing over-arching stories to move along at their own pace.

Something that happens on this page may come in handy a few pages along, and plot points brought up hundreds of pages ago are absolutely going to be resolved as the series continues, whether in this book or the promised sequel.

This past semester I’ve met a lot of those resolutions but also found many new plot points that are sure to affect things as pages turn, but it’s highly comforting to know that I have great amounts of control over much of the story once I am aware that it is indeed a story.

In realizing that I do not have control over everything in the massive thing that is life, I feel like I have so much more control over everything that happens within it. Life goes on, and existence doesn’t stop for anyone. As it rolls on, do what you wish as long as you accept that it’s still rollin’.

I’ve long felt that the meaning of life is to live it, but I wasn’t quiiiiiiite living life the right way. To live life, you kind of have to play it. Play it, play inside its rules yet don’t let them smother you and push its boundaries when necessary but also rule within them, jump off the spin and surf the paper. Grin at those moments that you recognize as joyous ones and enjoy them while you can, and simultaneously look at the future as you might a chess match and an summary you haven’t read yet. Live in the moment while both planning and waiting for the next ones. Cry when you need to cry and bask in it if you want to, as long as you don’t give up on the over-arching story, the game that you’re playing within life.

…And doesn’t this sound indulgent.

I had meant to write a short little wrap-up blog and suddenly I’m neck-deep in a philosophical mess that may seem like madness from an external perspective because words can’t put feelings with no English translation onto paper. Er, computer screen. Whatever. It probably all looks rather greater-than-thou and pretentious, but perhaps you can get something out of it besides “Trisha apparently thinks she’s queen of everything.”

Peace out, blog readers who now exist because by blog is on the front page of the gorgeous new CCBC website.

For those of you taking summer classes, work hard and stay fresh for fall. For me, my summer officially starts tomorrow. Summer? Bring it. Time to experience and rock the rest of this story.

Except first I gotta return this book to the CCBC library.

I owe $62 on it as of the end of semester because I though that I had returned it way back in January.

I had not.

I have made a cringe-worthy error.

 

 

 

Film Fest 2015!

Film Fest 2015 was a success!

Photo Credit to Chris Maydn

Winners

MC

Photo credit to Chris Maydn

Filmmaker Panel

If you walked into the ARTS lounge at 4:00pm, you would have entered a room adorned with film-related decorations, sparkling golden stars sprinkled over the tables, and a red carpet between chairs set with booklets that revealed what was to come. You would have seen Film Fest committee members dressed up looking their best, a large projector screen prepared to show the gathering audience 13 student films, and students with cameras darting about taking photographs. You would have seen tables of dinner and dessert ready to be consumed in due time, and judges preparing to watch the films that they would soon award three of the four trophies shining on their table to. Filmmakers and friends finding their seats, wondering who would win Best Production, Best Direction, Best Screenplay, and Audience Favorite trophies in addition a $100 prize.

…and if you walked into the ARTS lounge at 1:00pm, you would have seen one sweaty person running around making sure everything necessary was around, and setting up chairs and tables.

But if you walked in at 3:00pm, by then you would have seen an entire team of people working hard to make everything come together. Setting up, making sure that everything was set with the films, and coordinating. An entire semester of ups and downs and scares and triumphs and re-scheduling issues and advertising leading up to that ONE afternoon in the ARTS lounge– for behind the scenes, many people had to work together to present an environment for audience comfort and entertainment.

We were not perfect, but I feel like the event went well. If everyone went home with fun memories and stories to tell and excitement for next year’s Film Festival, then that’s success in my eyes.

Good job, everyone. Good job.

We hope to see you blog readers at next year’s Film Festival, sure to be even better than the first two!!

 

Semi-Frequently Asked Questions

Now that people are reading my blog and asking me questions, I shall answer some here for you for your personal enjoyment and my writing pleasure. Not that I’m presuming that you would enjoy to learn about me, but, well, people keep asking me these questions so apparently some people would.

Have you gone to Italy yet?

No, not yet. I am leaving on the 23rd, and yes, I have enough money to go!! What am I going to Italy for? The 2015 ITF Taekwon-Do World Championships!! I am competing in patterns (a set form of fundamental movements performed against an “imaginary opponent”) and sparring (Similar to UFC MMA fighting except no take downs/low kicks and you can’t win on a knock-out).

You do martial arts?!

Yes. I am a 3rd degree black belt and I’m also a blue sash in Eskrima. I just don’t bring this up unless it is relevant because then–

Can you beat me up?!

Yes.

Really?!

Yes.

Like, for real?!

Yes.

Will you?!

No.

Will you go on a date with me?

Nope.

What is your major? 

I am an English major, and whenever I transfer in like, ten years, I would like to double minor in business and psychology.

Why? What do you want to do with that?

*insert dramatic sigh* I would like to be a martial arts instructor; I currently have my own small program at a community center and I assist at a larger do-jang (school) but one day I would like to have my own facility. I would also like to edit on the side. You do not technically need to go to college to be a martial arts instructor, or even an editor, really. However, I believe that college is very beneficial in the life skills department, and learning English is very beneficial in life. Being a good writer translates into many aspects of one’s life, especially for someone who wants to be a martial arts instructor. Psychology and business are also helpful when it comes to human interaction, which is vital when it comes to being a martial arts instructor.

Do you have a religion?

I do not have a religion. I consider myself to be an agnostic-theist, but I grew up without religion and I do not currently follow a religion.

Then why do I see you helping out the MSA?

Cause the MSA is awesome. Duh.

Why were you at that event?

Probably because I am a Student Ambassador here at CCBC, and part of being an Ambassador is helping out with various events around campus. Other options include “I planned that event,” “I helped plan that event,” and “I’m actually attending the event just to attend.”

Why do I always see you on campus? 

Why do I always see YOU on campus? Haha. I’m often on campus because after classes I just stick around all day– I’m often working events, doing stuff for Film Society, or just chilling waiting to do one of the other options.

Why do you always carry so much stuff?

I’m president of Film Society so I tend to carry around a lot of stuff. The most I’ve ever had at once (aside from carrying all the equipment from wherever to wherever) was my backpack, my purse, my laptop, the club camera, the sound equipment, and the boom pole. I may have had a tripod at the time as well, but I do not recall!

Film Society? When do you meet?

HTEC 035 Tuesdays 3:00pm to 6:00pm; you should come!

 

Evidently I Am Famous Now

“Hey, you’re the girl with that blog, right?”

“Don’t I know you from the CCBC website?”

“Ohh have you gone to Italy yet?”

“You’re on the CCBC website!”

These are just some of the things that I have been hearing since my blog was added to the main page of the lovely new CCBC website.

Random people keep approaching me telling me that they have seen and read this blog.

So, now when people come up to me I get to guess whether they know me from Ambassadors, Film Society, a Film Society project like PSA, simply being on campus all the time, or from this blog.

I used to/usually do feel semi-guilty when I have no recollection of them whatsoever– but now people who have never met me before are approaching me, so I feel less guilty because they do not expect me to know them in return!

Since this has been happening, I feel like I need to up my game. I was locked out of my blog again temporarily, but technical difficulties have been fixed with speed and efficiency so I am return’d again.

Now, however, I must decide what to write about. When I wasn’t posting, I concocted many a blog post idea… and then upon returning, each and every one of them escaped my mind like a… I dunno, I was going to put some analogy and then I couldn’t think of anything for that, either.

Film Fest!!!

So a major aspect of my life right now is FILM FESTIVAL. Last year’s was amazing, so we planned to make this year’s even more awesome.

However, due to the curfew down in Baltimore, we had to re-schedule it last minute.

Now, Film Fest will be on MAY 14th FROM 4:00pm TO 7:00PM in the ARTS LOUNGE! Don’t miss out!

Watch student films, enjoy free dinner and dessert, and chill with CCBC friends. The event is sure to be a hit.

New CCBC website!!

The new CCBC website is up!

I think it looks quite nice.

What do you think of it??

Thoughts That Go Through Our Heads When Spring Break Ends

What the– wait, spring break is ending?!

Didn’t it just start?! What day is it?! What work do I have to do?

I’m going to actually get stuff done now. I can do this.

Work given during break should be illegal.

CLUBS ARE STARTING BACK UP!

….CLUBS ARE STARTING BACK UP.

did this break even count I mean I had stuff on Friday and I was busy on Saturday and I had a thing on Sunday and…

Assessing what I got done… I think this break was acceptable.

 It was a good break. It was just… too short.

CCBC…

CCBC!!!!!!

 

 

 

In Which There Is A Poem

I have not shared a poem in a while. That is because, in fact, I have not actually written any poetry.

Now, I have decided to do so. Here is a random poem by a college student; I was simply playing with some words.

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I want to sit

In a room with you

Warm, tranquil

And there we would remain

And hours would go by

And they would feel like instants

Instants that repeat on and on

And I wouldn’t get bored

Because I’d be there with

You

And I hope that you wouldn’t get bored

Either.

I wish to rule the world with you

For we both know that we could.

Together.

Achieve whatever we wanted to,

Because we are us

And you’re clever on your own

And I’m clever on my own

But together the world is ours

For isn’t it always “we” with us?

We would do

Good things

And no one would know but the ones we allowed

In an eternal state of feeling like

that last catchy riff in a deep song.

Fade to black.

I yearn to slide my fingers down your arms

Until our hands do clasp

And you would feel comfortable

And I’d meet your gaze

And the touch would crackle in my eyes

Until I closed them and held the moment

Swell to gold.

What if we just

Ran away

Ran to the summer of my childhood

The waking in the morning back when waking was a rush of hope

And there would be enough of this planning

And meeting the deadlines

And worrying

Eggshell fine

Shatter

Tears in the throat under the whispers

Tales that were true and buried under redemption

We’d sit in a slanted tree

Warm, tranquil

And rule our own world

There in the forest

And I’d still believe in faeries

And I’d feel the tangible magic

Enveloping our souls; the rushing in the heart

And the hope for adventure

That we’d have time for

And lack of rules that were not of our own

For what’s the point

Of growing up

And doing things

And growing old

And missing life

Run away with me

To a time of barefoot on soft grass and fireflies in a jar, soon freed

You and I

We

And I wouldn’t get bored

Because I’d be there with

You

And I hope that you wouldn’t get bored

Either.

Swell to red

Cut to gold.

 

New website coming on April 20th

Whoa, CCBC is getting a new website?! That’s right; it totally is!

Are you excited?!