I’m not Dr. Phil….

Dating. Just hearing the word makes my head spin. There’s just no easy way to get around have feelings for someone, and wanting to spend the majority if not ALL of your time with that person. Whether its girl likes guy and vice versa, or girl likes girl, or boy likes boy, having feelings while attending an institution is difficult. It’s even more difficult when students are nosy, like to stare, and eventually gossip. Nobody wants their private life to be public news. I have personally been in about two long distance relationships and one local relationship while being enrolled in school.  The lessons that I’ve learned are priceless, and would like to share some of them. Since this is a blog, this is only my opinion. I claim no expertise in being a “relationship guru” or having all the answers for you’re dating/relationship woes.  I can only volunteer the knowledge I have acquired over the years (which is a lot if I do say so myself) and hope my lessons, advice, and tips are helpful. If there are any “blogees” who like to add to the list, you are more than welcome. Tips go for both girls and guys. It’s 2010!

DO meet new people. After class, if you can, linger around a little bit. Sit on a bench on campus and politely approach someone and ask them about classes.  Ask about what high school they attended and what’s there major. Tell them you’re new and just trying to get a feel for the school. If approaching people one-on-one isn’t your style, then join a club or organization you might be interested. Talk to some classmates and see what they like to do. Expand your address book.

Don’t exchange personal information right away.  People change. Sometimes for the better, or sometimes for the worse. For whatever reason that person does change you want to be able to end amicably with them. You both are attending the same school. Try to exchange e-mails or websites, but not numbers. Wait to you really get to know the person, and then decide if you want to hear from that person regularly.

Do attend events on campus with someone your interested in. Dates are expensive. Movies, popcorn, soda, not to mention the gas it takes to get there. If you’re already on campus, invite that person to come to an event with you. Most of the time, the event is free and that person is already on campus. Student Life has a plethora of events that constantly appear on numerous CCBC campuses. Check the home page, Student Life on Facebook, or even stop by the office to get a calendar.  A great way to bond with someone is to find a connection with them.  Switch up the events with each person can share their interests or hobby.

DO let a friend, roommate, or family member know where you are. Your young adolescents, which really means you’re almost adults, we get it, but your still students. NEVER go ANYWHERE with anybody without letting someone know. Of course no one is thinking you’re going out with a psycho (this goes for girls & guys) but you want to be prepared for the worst.  Try to keep the first couple of dates in the daytime in an open area.  If you happen to go out a night, let your roommate, friend, or family member know who you’re going out with and a possible time you might be home. I know it sounds immature to check in with someone, but people care about you. Your someone’s daughter, son, brother, sister, niece, or nephew. You belong to someone, so have some consideration that person is only looking out for your best interest.

DO let your friends meet who you always been sneaking out to see. I know your friends are loud, crude, and sometimes embarrassing, but there your friends. Underneath it all, they really do care, for the most part (just kidding). Again, it’s just a safety precaution that your friends know who you’re seeing. Friends can be an excellent judge of character. They will know if that person is good for you, or if they get an uneasy feeling. I’m not saying that you should completely ignore your own judgment about someone that you like, just take your friend’s advice into consideration. I read someone where that our friends are an extension of who you are, a say “extension” lightly.

Don’t let your relationship consume you. I know you two are in love and nobody understands. All you can think about is that person. When you’re going to see them, when you’re are going to be with them, what you two are finally going to say when that magical moment happens. I get it, but understand that you’re still at school to gain an education and receive a degree to be independent. Your homework, classes, tests/quizzes come first. There’s not a lot of job opportunities for people with no education. No education mostly means no careers or any availability for jobs. Be in love, date, but know that your school is your 1st and main priority. Schedule dates on the weekends. Leave your weekdays open for homework and studying. Don’t be afraid to say “NO” when it comes to neglecting your work. You should want to be with someone who wants you to do well.

Do understand that nobody is perfect. Dating really does come down to chance, luck, and maybe fate. You might find someone right for you, you may not. Try to keep an open mind and not stereotype guys or girls as being ALL ALIKE. Everyone is uniquely different in what they can bring to the table. Realize that if you get into an argument with someone you’re not dating, it’s not the END OF THE WORLD. It’s good to disagree with someone. Challenge that other person, but don’t assume that that person should see everything your way. Nobody is perfect.

Hope my tips were helpful.



3 Responses

  1. Ruth Coradin Says:

    Great tips! I like the one about taking your date to an event and the one about letting people know where you are and who you’re with…

    It’s difficult sometimes to balance all of this out and still get good grades! lol :D

  2. Imani Grant Says:

    Thank-you Ruth! I haven’t gone on many dates…but I hope to change that ;-) Yes, ofcourse, safety comes FIRST! I know of all people you can DO IT ALL! GO YUCA!

  3. Ruth Coradin Says:

    YES! Safety first! You don’t have to tell me about that hmmm

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