Danny King CCBC Dundalk
There are some things about CCBC that have been swept under the rug, and this college deserves better than that. It’s not the college’s fault, however, for this problem is one that has hid itself for many years. At the same time, I cannot stand it going unnoticed any longer. It is time to shine light on the school’s hidden trash masters: The Squirrels.
Since the beginning of my waltz with CCBC, I have attended class on each campus, been to numerous board meetings, met the president and chairpersons, most of the janitors, and a few dogs that have wagged their tail’s on our grounds. Needless to say I’ve come in contact with a plethora of life, but few have left as great an impact as the squirrels. My first semester these guys were just like any other amiable rodent: timid, nervous, and hungry, but I found out after my first few classes that these little guys were in a class all their own. They are more like seniors than seniors are.
First of all they are smart, which should not be a surprise since they come from CCBC. What is amazing is their level of cleverness. These little derelicts monitor the grounds like vultures, and have kept tabs on every trashcan, every hang out, and every quiet area on campus.
They know the crucial times when the garbage is readily available and have determined what pleases their pallet the most. These squirrels get better service than I do and enjoy free food and housing, while I pay to go here. All this free reign over the campuses has inflated their bellies, and egos.
One year at CCBC when the weather was still a bit warm, the squirrels became even bolder. These little guys weren’t playing around anymore. They were standing their ground in front of the trashcans like a farmer who raises his gun to the wolves; too scared to actually fire, but fierce enough to put on their mean face.
I mean who’s going to be scared of a squirrel? As the semester proceeded, no one paid the furry rascals any mind, so it was business as usual. This is when I realized that the squirrels were doing more than just eating out of the trash. Their scavenging evolved into a casual dining experience where they would lay on the sidewalk like they were letting their food settle. They were creating a lifestyle here: like a breadwinner, household keeper, relax time–almost human life here!
This was too much for me. I began to try and shoo them every way I could think of. I would jump in front of them in attempts to scare them; I tried shaking the trashcans. “Not here!” I said “Not on my campus you won’t!” Alas, my efforts were to no avail. They were fearless, but what was creepy was that they began to remember my face.
I know you have felt it before: the acorns descending whimsically onto a book you’re reading in the quad. Then the acorns start descending on an unsuspecting soul. It seems like coincidence, but I know better. This band of ruffians began dropping bombs on me for an entire semester. The moment I was in range they would begin a barrage that would last until the threshold of branches had been crossed. They never forgot either. Even to this day if acorns are in the little rodents’ reach, I can find one falling on my head.
As this fall semester proceeds, the squirrels have been hanging out, and I don’t use that term loosely, on benches all around the campuses. I mean literally sitting (or lying) on the benches next to people and paying no mind.
But what do the squirrels have planned next? Last semester there was one inside the school for a few minutes, and I think he was just testing out the waters. Soon they’ll be taking classes with us if we are not careful.
Anyway, watch out for squirrels. Don’t feed them. They can work for their food like everybody else. Don’t be mean to them though, they are just trying to get by–just like everyone else. At the same time, they are smarter than they look, lazy too, and smart lazy people make for the best entertainers. Trust me.
April 22, 2016 //
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